


Twist And Turn My Feral Mind

by SpoopyJim



Series: Twenty Øne Piløts [13]
Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Animalistic, Beta Josh, Confusion, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Hate Crimes, M/M, Medical Trauma, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Tyler, Overdosing, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23932666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoopyJim/pseuds/SpoopyJim
Summary: You're wasting all of your time, finding a cure when there's no disease.Joshua Dun was supposed to be an Alpha. He knew that, from the moment he was born, until about 12 years old. He was the first born, and his mother was supposed to only birth Alphas, the doctors had said so. It was a symbol of strength. (Josh's brother and two sisters ended up being Alphas, even.)But when Joshua's test comes back with a large B instead of the expected A, he knows his life isn't going to be normal any more.Nobody else feels any better about it either.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Series: Twenty Øne Piløts [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723666
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. prologue.

**Author's Note:**

> Hm so in this verse, Beta = They can both impregnate others and be impregnated. Plus they're basically a mix of Alpha and Omega.
> 
> Not only that, there are trans!gram? I guess you could say? People but it's not super important since neither Tyler nor Josh are and they're the main characters. It is brought up a few times, and Josh does get hormones though.
> 
> There's both people who think Josh is a freak, and others who think that him being a Beta is like- really amazing.
> 
> But then it gets to borderline fetishizing, so Josh kinda just doesn't like anyone rn.
> 
> This is just a bit of back story! I'll write a real chapter soon.
> 
> Hm I'm trying to convey that Josh's mom is only supposed to have Alphas and Josh was an oddity but it was hard, edited the summary a bit.

Josh had heard time and time again, how he was going to be the perfect Alpha. How his entire life was going to go amazing, how he was going to be dominant, commanding, and have an omega all to himself.

At 10 years old, he didn't understand anything he was being told.

It's not like he knew what they even meant, 'Alpha', 'Omega'. He just knew it was boring, and wasn't fun having to hear about all of this. Even though everyone else understood, even his little brother who would jump onto him and squeal excitedly about being a big strong Alpha, before scurrying off to play with toys.

At 12, his mother was getting impatient. 

"Laura..." His father had chastised. "We'll know when he's ready."

Laura had hummed, eyes widened a little. "But Bill." She had pleaded, eager to just know, even though of course she did already know. She knew her son was an Alpha. They just needed it on paper.

William relented, but the next obstacle was the doctor.

Josh sat in the little office, the doctor unsure, warning Laura that the test was invasive and Josh was still way too young to be worried about that.

"It's very important to me." Laura had insisted, and the doctor relented.

Josh wished he hadn't because it felt wrong, something deep inside him that made him want to vomit. He was sure it would come right back up his throat, and he would be speared, gutted, and die right there!

Josh shuddered and sniffled, being held by his mother when it was all over. She absentmindedly played with his hair, but didn't pay his tears any attention.

Laura gave an excited noise when she was given the paper (not noticing the bewildered expression on the doctor's face, not noticing the way he wrung his hands and glanced at Josh).

Laura blinked a few times, staring at the paper, eyebrows furrowed.

Josh forced himself to sit up and look at the paper. There was a large, red B where there should have been an A, and Josh didn't understand.

"Mom? What's that mean?"

Laura didn't answer, just staring at the paper. 

"C... Can you redo the test?"

Josh was taken to multiple doctors after that, every one doing the same, horrible test and every one getting the same result.

Finally, finally one stopped her.

"Ma'am, if you don't want him to be a beta, there's therapy for that."

Laura looked offended- was this woman telling her to get therapy?

But instead, the doctor smiled, and Laura relaxed a bit.

"My husband was born an omega." She had hummed. "There's therapy for that- they can change you to what you were supposed to be."

So Josh was forced to take pills, shots, and much more.

Pills to suppress heats, shots to induce more Alpha tendencies, and when he had weak ruts, his mother even discreetly gave him patches to use to make them stronger.

So that's where Josh was, 22, staring blearily at heat suppressants and auto-injectors that he still used, even when he didn't have someone telling him to. 

His parents talked about how they had all Alpha children.

Josh went to the Alpha Sex Ed, with all of the actually Alpha children.

And Josh hated himself.

But 22, and he couldn't stop taking these stupid therapies, couldn't even think about letting himself be the stupid letter B.

Beta. 

Josh didn't know much about what a Beta was, just that there wasn't many, and that not everyone was okay with them.

And that he got both heats and ruts.

His therapies kept him from giving off Omega scents- or he guessed it was all Beta scents, and he was just suppressing part of it?

He didn't know, but at least no one knew, right?

Whatever Beta was, it was something bad, that's all he knew.

So he kept taking the therapies, the pills, and the patches.

And then he met Tyler.


	2. i.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -rolls-  
> gOSH Joshler is adorable okay bye

Josh was gnawing on a hard lollipop-type candy, teeth trying to dig grooves into the smooth surface. It was thick, and strong, and taking up all of Josh’s attention.

His alpha friends were joking around, talking about some cute omegas they were looking at, talking about how they should find a mate, how ruts were terrible with no mate.

Josh knew what they were talking about, even if he hadn’t had a terrible rut in a long time. Even though his mother had told him to use the patches when he was a teenager, and a little afterwards- so his body would learn it, make them stronger, something- he didn’t use them anymore.

Ruts were awful without an omega, and that was just someone he didn’t have. It took a while for his body to unlearn the strength of the ruts, but now he was back to something easier to manage, and easier to live through.

Maybe when he got an omega, he’d try again.

Josh’s body bristled suddenly, mouth pausing its attack on the lollipop and looking over at the entrance to the bar they were on.

A few people were coming in, but he had his eyes trained on a particular lanky one, soft brown eyes that held… happiness, but underlying pain. 

An omega.

Josh’s heart beat, hard, watching the three move to set up… instruments?

They were the band for tonight?

“Hey, you into the singer?” One of Josh’s friends asked, grinning.

“Smells like an Omega.”

Josh could tell too, eyes casting away a bit. “You know his name?”

“Tyler.” Another friend said. “Well, lover boy, are you going to meet him after the show?”

Josh gave a soft noise, looking up at the singer.

Their eyes met, and Josh blinked in surprise. He smiled, finally. “Yeah, I think so.”

His friends laugh; they’re teasing Josh for being into Tyler so soon, but they all knew Josh had never been with anyone, and that this would be good for him.

When Tyler started to sing, Josh felt weightless.

His feet weren’t connected to the floor anymore, consciousness floating above the entire bar.

Tyler’s singing, the way his hands dance on the ukulele, the way-

Josh noticed when the bewildered looks started.

Josh immediately fell back into his body, noticing others looking over at him.

Josh realized the problem moments later; he was giving off a scent very Non-Alpha. His glands were begging for Tyler, and not just the Alpha ones. Everything in him was screaming for Tyler, and even with all of his therapies and hormones, his Omega smells were bursting through.

Tyler hadn’t noticed, though. The scent was for  _ him _ , but it wasn’t for him. It was just another Omega smell in a sea of people, even if it was marked and spread and lifted to him by needy hands.

Josh quickly stood up. “I gotta go.”

His friends didn’t understand, but they at least didn’t put two and two together.

“Are you okay, Josh?”

“I can drive you home?”

Josh shook his head. “No- I’m fine, look I gotta-”

Josh quickly headed out the bar, giving a little gasp as panic settled into his lungs.

He stumbled off into the alley beside the bar, trying to catch his breath. He could still hear the people inside, pounding against his skull and making it harder to breathe.

He could have gotten caught.

They would have known. Would have known he wasn’t an Alpha. 

Josh quickly knelt down, hands viciously grasping at his hair and pulling, trying to ground himself.

“Hey, are you okay-?”

Josh flinched, looking up quickly toward the person who had spoken.

Tyler.

Josh’s mouth opened and shut. “Yeah-”

Tyler’s lips were downturned, eyebrows knit on perfect, sculpted features.

Josh frowned back.

“I saw you run out.” Tyler continued, kneeling down to be beside Josh. Tyler seemed confused for a moment, but the confusion was replaced with concern. 

“I’m Tyler. I was the singer on the stage.”

‘I know.’ Josh wanted to say. ‘Your voice was heaven and it made me be a monster.’

“My name… Josh…” 

Tyler gave a half smile. “Your name Josh, huh? I like it.”

Tyler pressed his tongue against his front teeth. “Hey, do you need a ride home…?”

Josh swallowed, hesitant. “I… You don’t have to-”

“I insist.”

Josh sighed, before nodding. “I don’t have my car.”

Tyler helped Josh into his little mini van when the instruments were all packed away. (Josh helped, even when his skin crawled thinking about what scents he was giving off, how his entire body craved Tyler. If Tyler noticed, he didn’t say anything.)

“So, do your friends have a separate car?”

Tyler nodded. “I’ve got all the instruments, they get here on their own, we set up together.”

Josh slowly nodded. “... I liked it. Your music. I’ve always wanted to play music.”

Tyler’s eyes lit up a bit. “Instrument?”

“Drums. Trumpet, too.”

Tyler hummed, then giggled. “Oh, this is a stupid question.”

Josh gave a confused expression, looking over at Tyler. “What? What is?”

“My friends aren’t going to be in the band much longer. I was looking for someone to join after they- I’m not pressuring.” 

Josh blushed slightly. “So- You don’t even know if I’m good.”

“You’re right! Tryouts, my house, tomorrow.”

Josh looked bug eyed at Tyler. “Really?”

Tyler hummed. “Yeah, of course! Like you said, I don’t know if you’re good. Prove yourself, and you’re in the band.”

Josh was… definitely not expecting this exchange, or how things were going right now. He rubbed his neck, pressing fingers deep into his mating glands and giving a quiet hiss.

“Okay. Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Tyler’s face was all smiles, and Josh felt his heart beat faster.

When Josh was dropped off at home (after exchanging numbers and trying to keep himself calm), he noticed Tyler staying in his car, watching to make sure Josh made it inside safely. It was a nice feeling, knowing Tyler cared enough to make sure.

Tyler waved with the brightest smile Josh had ever seen, and Josh waved back before he shut the door behind him and locked it.

Okay.

Josh pushed himself to head up to the bathroom, looking at his medicine.

He’d already taken an auto injector recently, and he still had to wait a few days, but he was sure the heat suppressants would help.

He wasn’t in heat, but they’d mask him wouldn’t they?

He quickly took two, swallowing them down with a water bottle.

Josh wondered if he should go to the doctor, ask why the fuck he wasn’t being an Alpha the right way when he was working so fucking hard?

Josh stumbled to his bedroom and buried himself into his bed, sniffling. 

Why hadn’t Tyler mentioned his scent anyways? Was he just as confused by it as Josh felt about the letter B on his hospital records?

Josh wished he had just been a gramless nobody. At least that would make sense, and no one would hate him for it. Instead, he was a freak.

Josh curled up tightly around his pillow, starting to cry.

He just needed Tyler not to know he was a freak.

They had just met, but Josh would do anything to make sure the other didn’t know.

Josh made an appointment with his doctor for the next week, and forced himself to get some sleep. He had to try out for Tyler’s band the next day.

How was he going to survive?


End file.
